I Moved to Australia!

Outback Road Australia

I moved to Australia and got a job! I have been in Australia for one month now, but it feels like an eternity. I have aged in four weeks much the way presidents age at a faster rate than the public over their term. If Obama had shared a hostel room with an incontinent, 70 year old European he would actually look worse than four years of a Republican congress.

To be honest I didn’t feel up to blogging until now because I was in a constant state of what have I done with my life, why did I move here, this coffee cost $6.50 and I don’t have a job, is that a bird or a child making that noise, I can’t enjoy sightseeing because I have too much anxiety etc. – which inhibited my creative process.  Yes, I know Ernest Hemingway occasionally wrote from a literal war zone, but he never tried to write anything from the Surfside Bondi Hostel OK!?

The Logistics:

I’m here on the Work and Travel Visa: Subclass 462. The visa allows me to work for any employer for up to 6 months and to stay in Australia for one year. This is a popular visa offered to many countries (most are eligible for two years) so there are many rural, seasonal and food service jobs available to backpackers.

I traveled from Boston, so to break up the journey I visited my brother in LA for one week. Then I flew a more humane 14 hours from LA to Brisbane. While I cleared customs in Brisbane, I finally left the confines of the airport in Alice Springs.

So presently I’m behind about 4 weeks in posts. In a way it’s good because 15 consecutive posts of just the crying emoji and/or screenshots of me texting my mother ‘this may have been a mistake’ will not appear. However, it means I have lots of writing to do and I’m lazy, so I guess that’s the downside.

The Abridged Version:

  • I landed in the Outback and was there for about 7 days, including a camping tour
  • I saw dingoes!
  • I saw a dingo that had bred with a Jack Russell Terrier
  • I sang What’s the Story Wishbone to the Jack Russell-Dingo hybrid
  • I held a baby Kangaroo!
  • I began eating my way through candies that aren’t available in America – shout out to Cherry Ripe
  • I flew to Sydney with the grand plan of finding a job and apartment on the beach
  • None of the above sentence worked out
  • I lived in a few different hostels for what seemed like an eternity
  • I went to Bondi Beach and did not die in a riptide
  • I found a job in the Blue Mountains about two hours by Train outside Sydney
  • Crying was kept to a minimum of two incidents in the first four weeks which I consider a victory

And finally…

I have arrived at my job and apartment in the Blue Mountains!

This brings us to today. I will continue blogging in real time, but also will cover some of my prior Australian adventures in more depth. Eventually our timelines will converge, so in short, this blog is about to become season five of Lost. Everybody find their constant!

For the record mine is Aragorn’s middle part from The Two Towers.


Running Themes Thus Far

Everything in Australia Can Kill You

Everything in Australia can kill you, accordingly there are warning signs everywhere. They pop up for places and things you would never expect to necessitate a warning sign. For example, you thought you were safe walking through a park in downtown Sydney?

Wrong! You didn’t think of the tree failure did you?!

Warning Tree Failure


Don’t mistake the jovial tone of this post–I walk through every door and open every cabinet like I’m on an episode of Man vs Wild.  Also if you think I ever use a bathroom without checking under the seat for poisonous creatures, you are very mistaken

WTF is Iced Coffee?

In the US Iced Coffee is regular coffee with ice cubes. It makes up 95% of my platelet count and is my life force. Here, iced coffee appears on the menu but is something different entirely. For example, I ordered an iced coffee and literally received this:

Australian Iced Coffee

I can’t even get into this here because this deserves a 2000 word post of its own, but FYI that’s a scoop of vanilla ice cream, a scoop of frozen, sugary coffee and a side of milk that I did not notice and can’t begin to guess its purpose.

More updates soon!

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