A Guide to Surviving as a Vampire in the Summer

Umbrellas on Beach

Summer is here!  That means it’s time for barbecues, sandals and sundresses.  White pants make their seasonal return, or if you’re like me, black leggings continue their strong, year long presence.  Most importantly, it’s time for warm weather and the beach!  Every year a million articles are spawned reminding us of the dangers of the sun and proper sun-care techniques to employ so I’ve decided to get in on the action.

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Inappropriately Translated Idioms: Normandy Invasion Edition

Omaha Beach

Omaha Beach

Today marks the 72nd anniversary of D-Day, when over 150,000 Allied troops invaded the coast of France during WWII.   Historical commentary has already been done better and more poignantly in books and documentaries than I could ever do.  However, I wanted to share the time, on a tour of the Normandy Invasion beaches, our French tour guide stood in front of our little group, solemnly stared out at us, and to describe the destruction at Omaha Beach said with gravitas and a beautiful French accent ” Ze say you cannot make a war without breaking a few eggs”

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Living at Home: Springtime Happenings Edition

Springtime Happenings Geese with Babies

My parents with their four kids. The babies are eating, which is exactly what my parent’s four kids are probably doing right now.

As part of my mid-life travel crisis I decided to extend my stay at home throughout the summer because my parents recently(ish) moved to Cape Cod.  For the uninitiated, Cape Cod is a beachy, lovely area of Massachusetts that is very quiet in the winter, but comes alive in the summer.  It’s the reason we barely refrain from murdering each other over parking spaces in the Winter.

It is an hour and a half outside of Boston, which in Massachusetts time/distance is basically a 3 day wagon train to civilization.  Thus, visiting friends is a commitment.  That is why outside of the occasional long journey, I now exclusively force my parents to hang out with me.   So the following is a chronicle of last week’s delightful social calendar.

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Spectacular, Unparalleled Advice for Being a Bridesmaid

Advice

In honor of Wedding Season being upon us I put together my best bridesmaid advice.  I’ve been involved in a few weddings and often wondered was there actually a point to being in all these weddings if I couldn’t make a listicle out of it?  Love, friendship, happiness, memories etc. my friends replied!  Listicle only, I declared! So behold my 9 Tips Spectacular, Unparalleled Advice for Being a Bridesmaid.

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Signs Dunkin’ Donuts Has Cemented Itself into the Fabric of Your Existence

Dunkins Cup on Beach

My adventure in internet listicles got me thinking about Massachusetts/New England based listicles in general.  As one does, I initiated an in depth search to see which topics came up repeatedly and if they were accurate.  One that appears a lot is Dunkins (Government Name: Dunkin’ Donuts).

It always appears as a brief statement expressing a generic love of Dunkins.  But lets be honest!  People don’t simply love Dunkins implying they are one thing and Dunkins is apart from them, it actually exists as part of the fiber of their being. When passing a Dunkins in a different state you know it’s unofficially a Massachusetts State Embassy and you just flash your license and you’re permitted to cut everyone in line (I think).

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A Tale of Two (Strip) Clubs

Just cause he dances go-go it dont make him a ho no

This past weekend for a Bachelorette party I attended a Men in Motion show. Men in Motion is a male strip club in Boston and “ New England’s #1 Girl’s Night Out!”(not Modern Pastry?) While being quite an entertaining show in its own right, it struck me how comically different it was from the one traditional strip club I had been to.

So behold below a Tale of Two Cities Strip Clubs and the scholarly conclusions on gender theory that come with it.

By scholarly conclusions I mean anecdotally supported blog observations.

The First Club

Once upon a time, many jobs ago,  I was at a company bowling event and as the night wound down the higher-ups declared “let’s go to a strip club!”  Ignoring the H.R. nightmare that is, I began picturing a Foxwood’s commercial: Take a chance; make it happen Pop a cork, fingers snapping! In my head dollar bills were flying in the air, people were smiling, strippers and I were posing together; think of the social media opportunities!

“ Lets go” I announced.

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